We do not grieve until others are fed up with us. We grieve forever, but we learn how to adapt and live with that very personal and private grief in our lives. No one tells us when we have grieved enough!
I said on a previous page that most people, at some point in life, have had a traumatic event cross their path and, being human, found it hard to cope with and may have benefited from a bit of help. Well...… I am one of those people, and I am not afraid to admit it...now!
I can honestly tell you it was difficult reaching out initially, but I am so glad I did. If you know deep inside you want to take that step but are scared because you really don't know what to expect or if you are wondering if counselling can even help you.... all I can say is (but in the words of Susan Jeffers) 'Feel the fear but do it anyway'!
In 1999, our beautiful baby girl passed away at the age of 8 months due to complications after having heart surgery. As you can imagine, my husband and I were devastated, and it felt like we could never come back from it; how could you?
With help and time, we managed to cope and continue, but we were on a different path and had to adapt. Some days, it felt like I could cope, but then suddenly, from out of nowhere, it felt as if I couldn't breathe, and the pain was too intense to bear.
The ache I felt was like my heart would jump right out of my chest. I became so anxious and full of fear and wouldn't go out in case something terrible happened.
Getting support from my counsellor showed me I could keep going, albeit differently; with help, strategies, and support in place, I learned how to cope with the pain, work through my grief and begin to enjoy life again without feeling guilty about doing things without Lauren.
From then really, I knew that I wanted to become a counsellor so I could pass on the support and hope I received when I was living through my darkest days filled with despair.
The help I received from my counsellor and the strength my husband and I learned to build together helped me to embrace life again. You may be thinking, at this point in your journey, there is no way you can come back from the pain you are feeling.
But what you may be feeling right now is normal, and you are not going crazy!
You just need some help to realise it, some help to allow yourself to breathe and live again.
